Winchester, VA to Cookeville, TN. Today I felt a need to blaze a little. I went bright to counteract the grayish white snowy frost on the ground. And I needed the gold Doc Martens because where the snow wasn’t slushy, it had become a crust of black ice. So from my bag I pulled a jumpsuit I bought in Lisbon, but a style really similar to this one found on a favorite clothing site of mine: LaCausa (great standards, give back programs, & working conditions). The Doc Martens I got with my friend Denise at Beacon’s Closet in Brooklyn, NY. But scouring the internets also offers options.

I was warm. Comfortable. Had extra traction on my feet. But here’s what I learned: The farther I got from New York, the more I noticed how my choice of clothing and hair color—and maybe general demeanor—made me stand out in a way that felt different from what I’m used to. I like standing out. Walking onto a train or into a building and feeling that what I’ve chosen to wear or put together is a thing all my own. Today when we stopped at the Lancer Truck Stop Deli in Virginia, the attention had a bit of an edge. More a one-of-these-things-is-not-like-another vibe. I didn’t feel like I was in danger in any way, but I did remember “Yes, this is what I felt like in high school.” Not altogether confident in who I was presenting to the world. I realize a majority of people (especially young people, but all ages too) live in the world feeling different and not at all comfortable in that. Or at least not comfortable yet because they haven’t found their people, their jam, that thing that gives them strength. I was reminded of why New York City was the perfect place for me to land in my twenties. Why a city can offer people searching for their people a perfect place to thrive. I have all sorts of theories on why places outside metropolitan living doesn’t offer that same freedom of individuality, but suffice to say getting just that whiff of side-stare, I-don’t-understand-you vibe startled me a bit. And I’m a grown-ass woman.

I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to feel once relocated and not working any part of my identity through New York City, fancy office buildings, publishing titles. How I’ll still be putting together outfits and stepping into the world and being the same me. What will that look like? What will that feel like? I’m certainly so much happier now in who I am than I’ve ever been before, so I’m more curious than worried. Still…I’ll keep you all in the loop.

In the meantime, the bright red heart coming up over some Knoxville trees, a pop of something unexpected next to something I know I’ll find around every corner, reminds me that mixing it up is good. Being ok with the unexpected, whether people’s reactions or my own, is life.

Tomorrow: Memphis…see you there & thanks for riding along!

PS: A map of us on the road!!!