Mascara. It’s not that important. It used to be the one thing I would never walk out the front door—or even roam around inside my apartment—without applying. My scarcity of eyelashes was a thing I was self-conscious about. I even went through a solid year of having lash extensions applied around my eye area on the regular. But now, I don’t care about mascara anymore. I don’t think that’s because I moved out of the metropolis and all of its attendant fanciness. I feel it’s more a current readjustment of priorities based on the world I live in right now. March 2020. Here I am. I’ve learned how to properly wash my hands and I apparently have other things to do with them than wield the mascara wand.

Those other things are pretty simple. Holding books, tapping on the computer, mixing up pancake batter, that sort of thing. But in the gravity of this time there is a reorganization of what my hands—extensions of me—want to be doing. The buzz of life that is running right below the surface of my day-to-day life, the same current that is connecting us all in this really challenging moment, varies from low-level hum to full-on foghorn level of concern. Now that we’re not stepping out the door for awhile, what shifts into less than important?

When I started writing this “Does This Make Me … ” jam, it was with an eye toward the kind of fashion that is hospitable to the planet, whether that meant thrifting or supporting designers who were giving back. Over the last little while my focus has obviously shifted into other areas even before I’d heard novel, corona, and virus joined together to usher in a whole new reality.

But even still, I really do love fashion and am aware that in our current climate everyone is recalibrating what it means to be aware of style, designers, current seasons, and what-have-you. Shopping—currently of the online variety—is the elephant in the closet. A blog that I’ve been following for years, Girls of a Certain Age, written by the wonderful Kim France (ex-editor in chief of Lucky magazine and acquaintance since my Spin days) summed it up really well in this recent post. “…I’ve been thinking about this blog, and how it encourages making purchases, and wondering if that’s such a good idea at a time when delivery workers are over-taxed and physically vulnerable.”

And, I would add beyond the land of delivery folks, this is a time when people are out of work and needing to save all their pennies for uncertain futures. So where to direct that click-on-a-shopping-site-offering-crazy-discount impulse? How to channel the sense that another pair of pajamas or some lounge-y items would be really soothing emotionally? I’m finding as soon as this clickbait wanderlust comes over me, I count to ten and it has passed. Probably because I have NPR floating in the background and the news I’m hearing in no way makes me want to follow through on purchases. But, how to support the boutiques for whom this time will be a spike through their business heart? I’m thinking gift cards. Restaurants are promoting a similar model (here’s one of my favorites). If you’ve got that extra bit of ca$h, why not virtually visit a couple of your favorite boutiques and instead of trolling the sale racks, go straight to the gift cards. Maybe a treat for your future self (and/or a special moment for someone else as well). Here are the places I regularly visit and that I want to see survive: LaCausa (ethically made goodness in LA), Bird (fantastically cool Brooklyn boutique), and Anchal Project (a nonprofit that trains, employs, and supports women in India who have experienced physical exploitation; the company makes beautiful home goods, scarves, and other items using eco-friendly textiles).

A really heartening moment in the world of high-end fashion is that designers like Armani, Gucci, Christian Siriano, H&M, Inditex (Zara’s parent company), Uniqlo, and many more beyond are stepping in to sew protective gear like medical overalls, booties, and masks. Bulgari is producing recyclable bottles of hand-sanitizing gel to be distributed in Italy. All of this citizenry at a time when every healthcare worker in the world is in need of support—and I’m not even going to start with the politics behind the shortages since it obviously varies depending on where you’re reading this and if I start to dwell on our situation in the US of A my head will explode—is helping me see the fashion industry in a brighter light. Not to mention the friends I see sewing really cool masks for their own peace of mind and/or to share with others.

In the absence of any sort of outside activity, like the afore-mentioned shopping for instance, one at-home moment I had the pleasure of experiencing this morning was taking a virtual SFactor class. Since 2007, SFactor has been for me a place of emotional growth, exploration, and the seeding of so many wonderful women into my world that it would take an entirely new blog post to do it justice. But suffice to say, the locus of the magic was in a room physically moving and surrounded by music and fascinating ladies. Also there were the outfits. And I don’t mean that in a shallow way, but a lot of fun came from tall shoes, short shorts, and long leg warmers as if I could invite a part of me out to play that I didn’t bring to the party in the rest of my life. Today’s virtual experience had nothing to do with the dress-up and while I’d realized long ago that it wasn’t the trappings that made the moment, whether I was wearing or watching, I was curious about how this might work without the vibe of a room pulsing with all the things mentioned above. And here’s what I found: It worked beyond well. Maybe there were some tall shoes being worn or a sexy something being tugged at, and for the woman wearing it those items transported her and her happiness out through the ether and we all felt it on our side of the computer screen.

We really are our own engine capable and fierce, made stronger by those around us. Letting ourselves be charged by loved ones no matter the distance is a great gift. A bit of magic to take me away from the manic out-of-control-ness. I hope all of you reading are finding ways to harness your own magic that can transport you somewhere else for awhile.

Every movement dominoes on to the next. Butterfly effect and all. And if you’re in the mood for a podcast piece that brings that point home, here’s a Radiolab episode that is really quite beautiful—although at first it may not seem to be going down a particularly happy road, it’s worth staying with it. (The episode is broken into two stories and I’m pointing y’all to the first one)

Be well, my friends! Thanks for being here!