While I’m not going to start the backward-glancing on this bananaPants year just yet—figure I’ll wait until the thing closes out so there may be more forward-looking goodness to reference—I am reflecting on the things to be happy about in this moment.

A) A year ago (thereabouts), Dennis and I came out to spend Thanksgiving with my dad and look at apartments for our move. At one, Carmen showed us around a standard-issue Melrose-Place-y kind of setup: a two-story apartment complex with a pool in the middle. Another had Krystal driving us past tennis courts and pools in a golf cart, altho the grounds were faaancccyyy, the apartments were so-so. Then Desiree ushered us into a single story, bungalow-type apartment with good space out back and in front and some high ceilings. And that’s where we live now. So far from our windows we’ve watched smoke billow from two local fires, hummingbirds hover around the many plants and flowers in front and in back; Dennis built a redwood surround, which held a nice-size blowup pool out back that saved our asses in one-hundred-degree-plus days and also had a good amount of ash fall out of the sky and into it from the closest fire in August. Now the pool is deflated for the season, but the sky is blue and the birds are chirping.

B) Hanging out with my dad is inspirational, informative, and damn fun! I’ve learned a lot about him, both in the things he’s told us as we’ve sat on his porch and had our weekly dinners. Stuff about playing baseball as a kid, skating on ice, smoking a pipe for a minute, going to jazz clubs, and moving from the midwest to SoCal. I may have heard snippets of these stories before, but there’s nothing like getting to ask follow-up questions to bring the moments home. I’m also constantly inspired by his creative drive. Damn-near every day, the man goes into his studio and works on a collage. At the end of the summer, he submitted a few to a bi-annual art show in Loma Linda (just down the road) and as everything is virtual, they’ve just put together an electronic catalog of all the artists’ work and will be printing a book at some point in the future with his work in it. The judge of the show called out two of his pieces (you can watch here. My dad’s are featured from 5:35 to 6) and there is a possible magazine article to come where he’s one of four other artists (out of dozens) featured in Inland Empire Magazine. Like I said, inspiring!

C) We’ve all three been lucky to maintain our Covid bubble in health and, while not wealthy, we’ve been wise enough to have enough pennies to work with—and seriously, where’re we gonna go and spend money anyway? Technology has been a thing to keep my friendships hopping. I’ve gotten very good at adding the number three to my Pacific Time clock for east coast and one hour for my Canada lady. Maybe I’ve gotten better at math? (no.)

So all in all, here we are moving toward the end of this confounding year. I know with a fair amount of certainty that once I have any ability at hindsight, I may realize how each moment held a contraption of crazy that threatened to detonate my equilibrium if I’d thought about it all for too long. Starting with our over-land travel in January from NYC, followed by everyone going inside in March, and all shaded with the daily ass-crappery of the occupant of the white house and his clown-car of destructive jokers. I was also exploring intensely my role in our country’s and my own deep-seated racial bias—finally coming to the reality of how I can work to be honest in bettering my understanding and actions around Black lives in this country after watching George Floyd’s execution last May. And honestly, quite often I had (and still have) this instinct to just lie flat on the floor, arms outstretched to take a break. (This is actually a go-to move I have often entertained in my head, and while I’ve never actually done it, imagine my surprise when sitting in the theater in 2017 watching A Doll’s House, Part 2, Laurie Metcalfe did exactly that. It was a kinship moment.)

As we go into this season, I’m definitely taking a moment to appreciate/accept what’s around me. The good, the bad, the otherwise. Also to spread what I can spare around a little. Not being able to show up in person to donate time, means a virtual give is the way to go. Feeding America is my choice. Also getting some denomination of grocery store gift cards to give out to the unhoused folks that are in Redlands. And to all of you, please have a most wonderful time this week and here’s to finding just the right amount of joy and gravity as we roll toward 2021!