We’ve now had a taste of all the seasons: arrived in the spring as the flowers opened and various animals began to roam around, rolled through the summer when Roquelle the bear was most active and our woodchucks munched up our lawn, fall and the amazing leaf changing and deer and turkey spotting happened, now we’re a step into winter and have had our first major blackout (snow and wind having their way with the electric lines) and our on our second major snowfall.

We came through the blackout fine. About 18 hours out altogether and, although our generator didn’t actually work the way it needed to, we have a couple of propane heaters and a lot of throw blankets and candles. Also, barbecued some burgers. We’d woken up the morning after the first major snowfall to find a car abandoned in our driveway. Upon investigation, we found no bodies inside and New Jersey plates. Of course I made up all sorts of things about where the humans had actually gone off to given the snow had been fierce and blizzard-y all the previous night. It turned out, the humans were fine. I know that because a bit later the next day they turned up with friends to dig out their (rental) car and explain that they had driven up from Park Slope, Brooklyn, leaving at around 11pm and hitting our mountain at 1am, which was hours into the storm. We live on a pretty steep hill with no streetlights at all. No plows were coming through until the next morning, so I can imagine this couple was terrified. They were heading to an Airbnb about 1/2 mile up the road and they just weren’t going to make it (zero four-wheel drive in this rented Honda). They called their friends who came and got them. They were also pretty embarrassed when they came to dig out their car. Obviously, I was glad they were safe and it was no problem on our side that their car was where it was since they’d managed to pull in and not block anything. Mostly, for me, it just brought up the issue of how easily things can turn into situations much bigger than expected.

I mean, truthfully, checking the weather for drama when you’re traveling seems like a smart thing to do but I was reminded how little I did responsible things like that when I was in my twenties and thirties (like they were). D calls it hairbrained schemes and I’m still susceptible to them although so much less than I used to be, mostly because I’m way more cautious (sometimes spooked) than I used to be. Aren’t we all, really? There was a time I’d be like, “Hell, yeah, let’s cross that transom bridge without checking on when a train might be scheduled. How bad could it be to jump into that river?” (So bad. And I’m sure I wouldn’t have lived to find that out.) Or, “I’m going to ride my small bicycle that has no gears from upper Manhattan to Hastings on Hudson, because why not? A three hour ride through the Bronx and Westchester and Yonkers is the perfect way to spend the day. Then I’ll ride home, too.” (In this case, yes, I did that. It was actually fun enough that I got D to join me for a repeat ride a year later.) So some of the schemes were successful and worthy of the adventure and some were successful but only because the worst didn’t happen.

I’m thinking about that now mostly in terms of the randomness of life. Best-laid plans and all. How I actually feel as if, while I supposedly have more time given there’s no full-time job anymore, I don’t feel able to keep up with all the things I need to do. I have a list. It’s all kind of chore-y stuff and yet I’m still struggling with getting anything done. Much of it is a kind of pressure I’m putting on myself. So there’s that. It’s keeping the voice in my head at bay around “shoulds” and what-have-you. Perhaps we all feel that way, especially this time of year. I which for you all the peace to sit on a comfortable surface and zone out with whatever activity of choice brings you relaxation and pleasure. I’m going to aim for that myself!