I can never ever ever get my phone to work. And I’m always always always on a train or in a car and sometimes on a bus. I rarely recognize anyone even though I know them well enough, in the moment anyway. Then I wake up.

Lately, I’ve been concentrating on remembering, then writing down to the best of my abilities, my dreams. A few similar threads are popping up. And because I’ve been working for a few sessions now with a Jungian therapist, the insights are for sure revelatory but also bananas in a kind of science fiction meets dramady kind of way. Like if Lucille Ball and a Sutherland (Keifer/Donald=whichever) mashed around in some time-warped grape pit, these might be the results. None of them have freaked me out too much but a couple have merited some extra thought. And here’s what I’ve learned while exploring this topic of dreams: You can go back and revisit, even ask, whatever person is popping in and communicating with you what it is they want. This, to me, seemed wacky until my lovely therapist suggested it. Just ask. See what happens. Not suggesting the dream will reoccur, but instead take a. waking, quiet moment and ask.

So I tried that with this one dream in particular. Here it is: I’m driving with a pre-teen girl who is quite a handful. She’s angry and mouthy and not particularly patient. We’re trying to get something done and have just left my house to do this thing (I don’t know what specifically but it’s important). Suddenly I remember I’m supposed to be at my waitressing job and I’m either 15 minutes or an hour and fifteen minutes late. I FREAK the F out. I HATE being late. I take out my phone but naturally I can’t work it. It’s massive and the buttons are stuck (apparently it’s the iPhone incarnation from 1972). I haven’t used it in a long time (maybe forever). As I struggle to figure out how to dial, I’m still driving (I think I am anyway, we are moving forward) and suddenly the girl gets really pissed at me and yells “You’re an asshole.” I feel that might be true but I also feel it’s a bit harsh that she’s yelled at me for having to go to my job. One where, by the way, I serve people. I ask if she really needs the stuff from my house and it seems she does. I consider giving her the keys to the car and letting her drop me off at work and take the car back to do what she needs to do. Somehow I know this is a bad idea given she’s underage and it’s not her car. Yet I’m also pretty sure I’m going to make this bad decision anyway. Then I wake up.

The dream hovered around and I thought it was curious. I wasn’t particularly jacked up about it, more baffled about who was that girl? Didn’t recognize her at all—physically anyway. And waitressing, for bejeezuz sake I’m glad I’m not doing that anymore. But something was going on there. So, as suggested by the ThisJungianPerson in my life who suggested I ask the girl what she wants, I did that. During a morning writing session, I asked. I waited. A little tickle around the job I felt stressed about being late for being one where I serve others, endlessly. So, yes, there was that. A thing that doesn’t even merit going into any more detail about because it’s obvious. As is the inability to work a phone, i.e., communicate easily and properly. Yes, that is a thing for me. Then the angry girl. The one who is quite sure I’m going to abandon her and not see through whatever it was we had started. The young part of me that didn’t finish being sassy and spicy before taking on the responsibility of SERVING people. (Wow, when you get going on this stuff it’s pretty rad.) And so she shouted at me about it. And here I was eager to get out of the damn car and give her the keys to go it alone (again, perhaps). So maybe what if I try staying in the car. Screw the service job (for now), remain behind the wheel and go back to finish what we started. Although I have only scant ideas about what that is, it’s a start.

The phone? Well, I’ve thrown that out the window. (It probably hit someone and broke them somehow.) I haven’t had another dream featuring this girl but I don’t think that’s the point really. I think instead I’m sticking with the search&find on my way back to sassy, spicy, ears&eyes wide open land. Winken, Blinken, and Nod.